ADHD in LGBTQ+ adults: Why Neurodiversity Needs More Than Just Awareness

Vanessa Porter
Oct 1, 2025
3 min read

October is ADHD Awareness Month, and for many queer adults, ADHD is more than restlessness or distraction — it’s a complex neurodivergent experience that intersects deeply with identity, masking, and mental health. At Be/Here, we create affirming spaces for LGBTQ+ adults with ADHD, offering workshops and support groups that respect neurodiversity and lived experience.

What ADHD really means

ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder) isn’t just “can’t sit still” or “loses focus.” It shows up as a whole constellation: intense focus (in “hyperfocus” moments), emotional

“Queer neurodivergent community support workshop”

overwhelm, difficulty with planning, chronically missing things, or being told you’re lazy or unfocused when in fact your brain is wired differently.

If you’re queer, you might have learned young to keep your “full self” hidden. Masking – trying to fit in, suppress traits, over-prepare so you aren’t “too much” — becomes second nature.

Often this means ADHD gets missed or misdiagnosed, or its impact is under-acknowledged.

The gaps we live in

Late or wrong diagnosis: I’ve heard from many people who first hear about their ADHD in their 20s or 30s — sometimes only when they pour themselves into therapy or self-study.
Emotional labour & identity work: being queer, sometimes trans, sometimes neurodivergent — each piece has layers of self-acceptance, of navigating stigma or misunderstanding. It’s tiring.
Lack of inclusive spaces: mainstream ADHD services often overlook what it means to have a queer identity. Pronouns, gender-diverse experiences, cultural expectations — they all affect how ADHD shows up and how it’s treated.

From Surviving to Thriving: Some Tools I’ve Seen Help

Here are things people tell me have helped. Not every tool is perfect, but perhaps one or two will resonate:

Self-compassion & forgiveness: when tasks pile up; when emotional overwhelm hits; when “shoulds” feel overwhelming. You are allowed to be imperfect; you are learning.
Small routines, small wins: even tiny rituals — a morning check-in, a simple timer, 5 minutes of planning — can feel stabilising.
Peer & group support: there’s something powerful in being with folks who “get it” — who understand ADHD, queer stuff, the intersection.
Therapeutic spaces that affirm: having someone who respects your identity, understands neurodivergence, and listens without trying to “fix” you.

What we’re offering this month

At Be/Here, we believe in creating spaces where your whole self matters. For ADHD Awareness Month, here’s how we’re showing up:

Neurodiversity Workshop ( FREE online) — for learning skills to manage overwhelm, regulate emotion, and build resilience. (Click the Link) BeHere
Counsellor-led / group therapy & support groups — spaces where you can bring what’s real for you, where your ADHD and queer self are both seen.

(If you see something missing — a topic you want to talk about, a group not represented — let us know. We want to build this with you.)

A message for you

If you’re reading this, maybe ADHD has already touched your life — maybe you’re curious, maybe you’re frustrated, maybe you’re hopeful. Whatever mix of feelings you carry, I want you to know: