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Am I Gay? You’re Not Alone in Wondering.

By Vanessa at Be/Here


If you’ve found yourself here after typing “Am I gay?” into a search bar — welcome. That question has lived in the minds of so many of us, sometimes quietly for years, sometimes loud and urgent. No matter how or when it arrives, it's a deeply human question to ask — and it’s okay to not have all the answers right away.


At Be/Here, we see you. Whether you’re 15, 35, or 75, wondering about your sexuality doesn’t make you late, wrong, or broken. It makes you curious, brave, and beautifully human.


You Don’t Need to Be Sure to Be Valid


One of the most common worries we hear is:

“What if I’m wrong? What if I’m just confused?”

Let’s take a breath here. It’s completely normal to feel unsure. Sexuality isn’t a straight line. For many people — especially those of us in the LGBTQIA+ community — it can be fluid, evolving, and complex. You don’t need to label yourself right away. You’re allowed to explore. You’re allowed to take your time. You’re allowed to change.

No quiz can define you better than your own lived experience — and even that can shift over time.


Some Signs You Might Be Gay (Or Not!)

There’s no checklist, but here are a few gentle reflections:

  • Do you find yourself emotionally or physically drawn to people of the same gender?

  • Do straight relationships feel like you’re performing?

  • Do you feel more alive or affirmed when thinking about same-gender love?

  • Have you always had a sense that something felt a bit… off when people assumed you were straight?


It’s also okay if none of these feel right. You might be bisexual, queer, pansexual, or still figuring it out. Labels can be helpful, but they don’t define your worth.


Why It Feels Scary — Especially If You're LGBTQIA+



A group of four friends smile for a selfie at a lively LGBTQIA+ pride event. The crowd behind them is dressed in colorful outfits, creating a joyful, celebratory atmosphere. One person kisses another on the cheek while the others smile warmly at the camera.
Vanessa at Pride

For many of us, the fear of being gay doesn’t come from within — it’s from a world that has told us it’s wrong. We grow up surrounded by silence, shame, or stereotypes. At Be/Here, we know those messages can leave deep wounds.

So if you’re scared or confused, please know: it’s not because there’s something wrong with you. It’s because society hasn’t made enough room for you to safely ask the question.

That’s why we exist.


We’re Here to Help You Explore — Safely and With Care


At Be/Here, we offer queer-affirming therapy, free mental health workshops, and peer support groups specifically for LGBTQIA+ people.

You don’t have to come out. You don’t have to have a label. You just have to be yourself — and we’ll meet you there.


✨ Whether you want to talk to someone, listen quietly in a group, or just read quietly like you are now, you belong here.


If You're Wondering, “Am I Gay?” — That’s Enough to Start


You don’t need to be sure.

You just need to know that you’re allowed to ask.


With love, care, and community,

Vanessa @ Be/Here

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