A Journey Through Mental Health: My Personal Story

Understanding Mental Health Struggles

Hi Everyone, it's Vanessa. This Mental Health Awareness Week, I wanted to share my story. It feels vital to speak up. Often, during these weeks dedicated to mental health, the advice can sometimes feel disconnected from reality. It might seem as though it's coming from people who haven't faced the daily struggles that many experience.

I believe that sharing personal experiences is crucial. I want to be open and honest about my journey so that anyone reading this knows they are not alone.

My Crisis

Five years ago, I survived a mental health crisis that nearly ended my life. Each day felt like a battle. I was navigating a world that made no sense, one where I felt completely out of place. I often looked at the clouds and dreamed of escaping to the sky, far from crippling anxiety and a sadness so deep that it caused physical pain.

I was confused, questioning my sanity. Is this what it feels like to lose one's mind? I would wake up in a panic, drenched in sweat from nightmares. A sudden noise or unexpected smell would catapult me right back into that terrifying dream.

Finding Help

One day, I watched an army paramedic give a talk. In her words, I heard my own struggles echoed back to me. I sat on the couch and cried, feeling a profound realization wash over me. It wasn't just me. Help was possible.

This revelation started my journey toward understanding what was happening and alleviating the pain I carried every day. However, the path was far from easy. I attended several "triage" appointments, each one peeling back the layers of my distress in painful, raw ways. Often, I was sent away feeling more lost than before.

During this time, I didn't want to call a helpline or sift through generic advice about exercising or mindfulness. I craved validation, someone to tell me that it would not be simple. I wanted reassurance that my brain's memories of trauma were valid. Accepting my experiences became crucial. After all, these experiences would shape the rest of my life.

A Ray of Hope

Then, I met someone who said the magic words, “Let me help you. I want to help you!” Finally, I began to piece my life back together. I started understanding what my mind and body truly needed. I experienced a whirlwind of emotions—anger, pain, and eventually love for every part of myself.

The day finally came when I realized, “The person I was before is gone; now I need to discover who I am now.” That moment was transformative.

The Healing Process

Therapy became an essential part of my healing. I accessed it through various methods and at different times. I learned the skills needed to grow and heal. The support from those around me—friends, family, and professionals—helped profoundly.

Years later, following my diagnosis of Complex PTSD and Panic Disorder, I wake up each day with intention and focus. I prioritize self-care, listening to my body and mind. Every morning, I remind myself that I can breathe without a heavy weight on my chest.

While I don’t have all the answers, I want to share a vital truth. It is possible to wake up feeling lighter, ready to embrace the day.

Love and Resilience

I've loved, lost, and witnessed life’s fragility. I've faced challenges, often blaming myself for others’ actions. Each of these experiences chipped away at me. Yet, through perseverance, I slowly gathered every piece and tenderly stitched myself back together.

This journey led me to co-found Be/Here. I want everyone who feels isolated to know they are not alone. There is always someone or a place that offers support and says, “I want to help you. Let me help you!”

In conclusion, mental health awareness is not just about raising awareness. It's about sharing our stories, connecting through shared experiences, and offering support. Healing is possible, and there is hope.

Love and light always,

Vanessa