Why LGBTQIA+ Burnout Hits Differently — and How to Rest Without Guilt

Vanessa Porter
Jun 3
3 min read

Let’s be honest: many of us in the LGBTQIA+ community are tired. Not just “I need a nap” tired—but soul-deep, bone-heavy, can’t keep pretending I’m okay tired.

That’s burnout. And for queer people, it often hits differently.

🌈 Why LGBTQIA+ Burnout Isn’t Just About Overwork

When we talk about LGBTQIA+ burnout, we’re not just talking about too many deadlines or a full calendar.

We’re talking about:

The constant work of being understood or accepted
Code-switching to stay safe or palatable
Navigating microaggressions—or outright harm
Carrying the emotional weight of not being reflected in systems built without us in mind
The pressure to “represent” or “educate” others about your identity, often at the cost of your own wellbeing

For many queer folks, especially trans people, QTIPOC, disabled and neurodivergent community members, burnout isn’t just from doing too much. It’s from carrying too much—every day, in ways that aren’t always visible.

💛 Why We Struggle to Rest

If you’re feeling exhausted but struggling to stop, you’re not alone.

Rest can feel unsafe, unfamiliar, or even selfish—especially if you’ve been taught (directly or indirectly) that you have to prove your worth, or that surviving is your only priority.

So many of us were raised in systems where rest wasn’t modelled, let alone respected. We learned to hustle for safety. To shrink ourselves. To stay alert. And now, even when our bodies beg us to pause, guilt creeps in.

But here's the truth:

Rest is not weakness. It’s resistance.

✨ Rest as Resistance

Choosing to rest—especially as a queer person—is radical. It’s a refusal to let systems of oppression dictate how we care for ourselves. It’s reclaiming your right to slow down, soften, and say, “I do not exist to be productive. I exist to be whole.”

At Be/Here, we talk a lot about rest as resistance. Not the curated, perfect kind you see on social media.

But the real, gritty, everyday kind.

The kind that says:

I’m logging off without explanation.
I’m letting myself cry, sleep, or just sit.
I’m choosing softness over survival mode—today.

🌿 Queer Rest Ideas That Don’t Require a Retreat

Rest doesn’t have to look like a silent retreat or a day off (though those are lovely if they’re possible). Sometimes rest is scrappy, messy, or done in five stolen minutes. That’s okay.

Here are some accessible, queer rest ideas we love and use at Be/Here:

Lying on the floor and listening to music you don’t have to explain
Texting a friend, “No need to reply—I just need to feel close to someone”
Turning off your camera during a Zoom call and breathing deeply
Making a soft playlist called “I’m still here”
Journalling without grammar or structure—just letting the mess out
Lighting a candle that reminds you of somewhere you feel safe
Creating a tiny corner in your room that’s only for resting—not performing

Rest is personal. It doesn’t need to be productive, aesthetic, or earned. It just needs to feel like an exhale.

You Deserve to Rest—Without Guilt

If you’re burnt out, tender, or just done trying to hold it all together—you’re not broken. You’re responding normally to a world that demands far too much.

At Be/Here, we’re building spaces where queer people can rest, feel, and be held. No pressure to perform. No need to explain. Just real, gentle care.

So if you need this reminder: You don’t have to wait until you crash to rest. You don’t have to “deserve” it. You’re allowed to just be tired—and take care of yourself anyway.